Enchanted pt 1 (&2) (05/01/2014)

So with my badly sprained ankle (which happened mid-April 2014), I've been watching more movies in the evening with Daryl. Last night we watched Enchanted.

I was really struck with a few contrasting points.

The Prince and Giselle falling in love:
The Prince and Giselle meet, fall in love instantly, and wait for Love's True Kiss, and expect to live happily ever after. If she hadn't been pushed in the wishing well, they would have lived happily ever after.

The Divorce Attorney:
He was married, thought he was happy, and then she left. He is hurt. He doesn't believe any relationship can last for ever, and especially for it to be happy if it does last. His view of a good relationship is based off of an intellectual compatibility.

How Deep?
At first glance, the Prince seems shallow. At first glance, Giselle seems shallow. Perhaps they are. As I watched the Prince compliment Giselle at the dance, and Nancy be amazed at it, I could see Nancy was right. There was no irony, sarcasm, nor hidden agenda in his statement about Giselle. "This beautiful lady is Giselle, the love of my life, my heart's true desire." He was totally sincere. Yet, he is not an incomplete person looking for someone else to make him complete, demonstrated by his response when asked, "Sire, do you like yourself?" He responds, "What's not to like?" Giselle is the person on whom he can shower his love and adoration. That doesn't seem so shallow after all.

Can it be done?
How does one make that ideal, fairy-tale, 'happily ever after' relationship?

One of Two Choices:
The couple getting divorced demonstrated very well the two contrasting sides: "What's in it for me?" and "I'm looking after my own needs," vs "I appreciate you and how can I make you feel happy and loved?"

Looking after our own needs?
At first the couple getting divorced were in very selfish and retaliating modes. They operated on hurt, resentment for being hurt, and then wanting to get revenge for being hurt. The queen also operated on this mode. Everything was about her ability to keep her throne. She would destroy others without a second thought in order to keep her power she loved. She manipulated, used and abused her devoted royal helper, not appreciating that he was operating in the mode of "I'll do anything for you."

I appreciate you and how can I make you feel happy and loved?
The Prince is the epitome of loving. Even though he seems shallow, and perhaps is for real life, he has enough and appropriate depth for being a fairy-tale guy. His whole desire was to make his true love happy. His every word and action was to tell her how wonderful she was and to do things that she wanted. Simply put, he is not selfish.

Even when the human-unacceptable event happens that he discovers his betrothed is awoken from a deadly sleep by true-love's kiss from another man, he is delighted and happy for her. He loves her enough that her being happy is his first priority. He loves enough that he can love anyone. He can see the Princess in any woman, as he demonstrated by placing the shoe on Nancy (a romantic woman at heart) and seeing it is a 'perfect fit,' and whisking her off to marry her in his Kingdom.

Before we think he is just a shallow, selfless, loving kind of guy, we must see also his strong pack-leader stance, no-bones-about-it attitude of exposing the wicked Queen for her evil deeds, and the unalterable decree that he will remove her from the throne. He was in no way whimpey or wishy-washy about punishing the wicked and defending the innocent and helpless. He knows his authority and had no fear nor hesitance to use it. He has a very well developed and confident "backbone." He was a great protector.

What About Us in Real Life?
So we don't live in fairy-tale books. We live in real life. We are prone to getting hurt and subject to ill feelings afterwards. But there is hope for us. If we return to the couple getting divorced, we see the alteration of their attitude. We see them applying the Princely qualities of loving more than applying the qualities of selfishness. That made all the difference. The wife states, "Everybody has problems. Everybody has bad times. Do we sacrifice all the good times because of them? No." They left the emotional position and vision perspective of being hurt, and went back to the emotional position and vision perspective of appreciating the good of each other and unselfishly wanting to do things to make the other happy.

That is the Key!
So the key to a happily-ever-after is to be Princely. Have our life focused on the other person's happiness and welfare. It is difficult as a human who gets hurt. It is even more difficult when one member of a couple acts like the Queen and the other like the Prince. That leads to another discourse of relying on Christ, cleansing our own non-divine feelings, etc. That is where the simple, direct, black and white principles have to be applied to complicated, convoluted, shades of gray situations. That will be saved for The Enchanted Ideal part 2 (which as of 2022 has never been writte).

Though the application may be more complicated in our non-fairy-tale-book lives, the answer is still the same. We live happily ever after by having our focus on the other person's well-being and happiness. 

The essence of the non-written Pt. 2 is when that doesn't work, we live happily ever after by anchoring our selves and souls in Jesus Christ. He is the Prince we can depend on. 

We live happily ever after by being Princely.